You are your own niche (...and other things I keep forgetting)

Lately I’ve found myself getting caught up in this loop again. And again and again. The one where I start to wonder if I’m doing too many things, or not enough of the right thing. Where I scroll through other people’s content and start questioning whether I should pick a different lane, get more polished, be more like her.

It’s not new. I’ve been cycling through this since I was a kid. Trying to be the right kind of student, the right kind of daughter, the right kind of partner. The right kind of coach. The right kind of content creator. Like if I just shape-shift well enough, I’ll finally unlock the version of me that makes sense to everyone else.

But the truth? I don’t fit in a box. I never have. And every time I try to shrink myself down to fit into one, I get resentful. Burnt out. Bored. And honestly, my content and my business suffers.

This pressure to pick a niche is everywhere—especially in the online world. You’ll be told over and over again that you need to be known for one thing. Speak to ONE person. That if people don’t immediately “get” you, they’ll move on. But what if your magic isn’t in being easily digestible? What if it’s in the messiness, the nuance, the way you connect all the parts of yourself that seem like they shouldn’t go together?

Here’s what I’ve realized lately: I am my own damn niche.
And so are you.

I’m not just a life and relationship coach. I’m a content creator who cares about mental health, storytelling, tattoos, human rights, style, pop culture, neurobiology, humor, aesthetics, justice, and holding boundaries. I help people pleasers learn how to say no—and I also make tik toks about dating, inner child work, nervous system regulation, my random thoughts, my dogs, and also my favorite thrift finds. I like softness and edge. I wear my emotions and my eyeliner boldly (and also sometimes not at all).

And maybe that doesn’t fit neatly into a funnel or a content calendar template. But it’s honest. It’s mine.

When I try to cut pieces of myself out to be more palatable, I lose the spark that makes me good at what I do. I stop creating the stuff that actually lands. I start resenting my brand, my business, my own voice. And then I remember—oh yeah, this again. This old story that says I need to make myself smaller so I can be picked.

I’m done with that story.

So if you’ve been feeling boxed in lately—by your job, your content, your relationships, your own expectations—I get it. This post is your reminder that you’re allowed to take up space as your whole self. Even if it doesn’t make perfect sense to everyone else. Especially if it doesn’t.

You don’t have to pick one thing. You don’t have to make yourself simpler so that other people can understand you quicker. You just have to keep showing up as the version of you that feels the most real. The one who doesn’t perform. The one who already knows who she is, even if she forgets sometimes.

We don’t need to be one thing. We just need to be true.

Thanks for being here, let’s meet back same place same time next week :)

Much love,

Sammy